It's a Wonderful Life
by hopefulfeathers
Summary: An OQ Advent Calendar entry: Set in the Enchanted Forest during the Missing Year, this is a story based off the classic Christmas film, It's a Wonderful Life


**Hello everyone! I hope you all had a lovely Christmas! It's been quite some time since my submission for the OQ Advent Calendar this year was posted on the calendar site, but I was and still am so grateful for the responses I've received! Thank you all so much again for sending such meaningful reviews! That being said, I've finally decided to post a slightly different version of the story here. There are a few changes I've made, especially to the ending (just things that I think would make the story a bit more coherent). Also, since the first time around I was in a bit of a rush, this version is a bit more edited.**

 **So I hope you all enjoy, whether you're either returning or new! Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I wish you all a Happy New Year!**

* * *

Fallen snow, freshly settled from the night before, crunches beneath her boots as she trudges along the forest floor. The air is like needles against her cheeks, turning her olive-toned skin into a slightly rosier complexion. High above, a snowy owl takes flight, its silent wings beating against the gusts of wind. Regina shivers beneath her bulky winter cloak. She wraps her arms tightly around her chest, desperate to salvage as much heat as she possibly can. Her teeth chatter uncontrollably as she struggles to keep up with the pace during this seemingly long trek back towards a warm awaiting castle. But she's falling rapidly behind.

It's Christmas Eve, and a very chilly one at that. It could very well be the coldest Regina has ever experienced. Well, there was that one a long time ago, around Henry's fourth birthday. What a lovely Christmas that was. The young boy had actually made a gift, one of the first gifts he'd ever given her. It was a bracelet made of clay beads that apparently was a Christmas art project at preschool. Little clay beads of red and silver and gold, through which a thin string of yarn ran, was wrapped proudly around Regina's wrist whilst she smiled through her tears of joy and kissed the top her little prince's head. She'd whispered a choked up "thank you" and hugged Henry tightly for a long time, her nose in his hair, until the boy squirmed in slight confusion as to why exactly his mommy was acting this way. But the absolute, unadulterated joy in her eyes said it all. Her heart was so full of light that year for the first time in a long time, warm with so much love for her little boy that she hardly knew what to do with all of it.

It was unlike her to feel that way. Darkness, pain, and emptiness was of course all she'd known. And now, it's all she knows once more. Those Christmases are over now. No more warm cookies, hot chocolate, and cuddles by the fire. No more stories about Santa and reindeer. No more long lists of presents to fulfill. No more little clay bracelets far more precious than any jewelry Regina had ever worn. Henry is gone. Lost to her in another realm, he is most certainly doing everything Regina had done with him all those Christmases, now with his other mother, while having absolutely no recollection of her. Life is cruel that way, having given her that selfless but painful price to ensure the safety of the person she loves the most. Some gift indeed.

Regina had hoped that the pain would dull, that she'd find happiness once again back in this realm of magic. But that hope was in vain. And now, three months later and on the eve of Christmas, the former queen feels just as frozen as the air around her.

Snow said it would be good for her: to get some fresh air instead of being locked up in the castle all day, every day. And what with the Wicked Witch now threatening their happiness, the princess thought a walk in the woods would do Regina some good. But of course Snow, with all the best intentions, chose the coldest day on which to finally drag Regina out, therefore effectively making the former queen even grumpier than she'd already been. Just because Regina is feeling cold and empty on the inside doesn't mean she needs to feel the same on the outside. The insipid princess just doesn't get it. At least back in the castle, there's the superficial warmth of the fireplace.

"It's not long now," David calls over his shoulder at the following party. Behind him, he drags a twenty-four pound turkey, the true purpose of this excursion for tonight's Christmas ball.

Regina silently rolls her eyes before turning her gaze back down towards the snow. She watches her boots move as if on their own accord, the only motivation being that of the roaring fire in the hearth. One foot in front of the other. _Right, then left. Right, then left._

"Are you all right, milady?" A deep, husky voice questions. And suddenly Regina looks over just slightly to see another pair of boots joining in the march beside hers. A gloved hand touches her back, making her breath hitch.

"I'm fine," Regina states curtly, continuing to stride forward despite the comforting touch.

Despite all the pain being back in this now seemingly desolate Enchanted Forest, Robin Hood has been a flicker of light amidst the dark on multiple occasions. That's not to say that the former queen has been _totally_ impressed by him and his snarky comments. But the thief has managed to keep her life— _interesting_ —to say the least. She welcomes the banter that they throw back and forth at each other like players on a tennis court. It dulls the ache, allows her to focus on something a bit less serious like the Wicked Witch or her lost son. Surely Regina believes Robin to have been privy to her mercurial temperament. In fact, he had had the experience and even the privilege of being the subject of her hotheaded outbursts in several instances. Lord knows why the man keeps coming back.

Regina had put their trivial disputes as being a means of distraction from her misery. But nowadays, she's beginning to slowly realize that the thief means a little more. _Just a little._

"You know that's not true," Robin is now gently chastising, speaking to the former queen as if he would a child.

Regina rolls her eyes again. "Oh, because you know me so well," she scoffs. She lifts her head and turns to meet his deep blue eyes that stare kindly down at her as they now walk side by side.

A warm, kindhearted chuckle escapes the thief's lips as he shakes his head. "I've known you for a few months now, Regina," he says, "You have that same look about your eyes as you normally do. But only now, you have pleasantly rosy cheeks to go with it." He rubs his hand up and down her back a few times as if to warm her up. _A meager attempt._

"You stare too much," Regina mutters, though feeling the ghost of just a bit of heat build beneath her skin. She shakes off the feeling, lowering her gaze from his.

"My apologies for indulging myself a bit in the image of a stunning woman."

Regina sighs, though not as irritated as she perhaps feels she should be. "When will you realize that your flattery will get you nowhere?"

"When you realize that I'm only trying to offer the least bit of comfort that I can and won't constantly continue to fearfully push me away because of it," Robin responds gently. The former queen remains silent beside him. After all, he is not wrong. And God, how Regina hates that he can read her so easily. "Please tell me," the man pleads, "It's not good for your health to keep it all inside."

Regina sighs again, looking straight forward towards the approaching castle ahead. "Just Henry again," she murmurs, "or well, lack of." She closes her eyes momentarily, shaking her head. "And the thought of spending Christmas for the first time without… It's just…"

"Unbearable?" Robin offers as the former queen unknowingly deflates against his hand. Overwhelmed in her misery, she misses the way he subtly slides his arm even further around her shoulders and tugs her closer.

Regina nods. "Agonizing," she adds with another slow shake of her head. "It hurts so much…too much."

"I know." His voice is soft. "I felt the same way about Marian, my wife. I wanted nothing more for the ground to just swallow me up."

Regina groans in agreement. "If only it would for me," she sighs, "What I wouldn't give to just disappear." It doesn't seem like a bad idea. It's not like she has anyone or anything to truly live for.

Robin shakes his head. "Regina, I know how hard it is, but you have to find something to live for, something to keep you moving."

Regina abruptly pulls herself from Robin's hold upon finally realizing their closeness. His words are getting far too emotional for her liking. "The only thing keeping me moving right now is the need to get out of this goddam cold and away from you so that you can stop lecturing me once again about finding a second chance. God, you're almost as bad as Snow and her unwanted hope speeches." A deep frustration begins to build, replacing the cold with a sudden bout of heated exasperation. "Seriously, Robin, why can't you just get it through your thick skull that I don't need you? I'm perfectly fine on my own. Just let me be!"

Her eyes flash with a sudden surge of unbridled anger. She's not sure whether she regrets it or not, but she braces for retaliation. But it doesn't come as it usually does. Robin simply raises his hands in defeat, a solemn but sad look in his eyes. Deep down, it almost makes Regina want to cry, but she continues to maintain a dispassionate exterior. Maybe he has finally gotten tired of coming back.

"Okay. Whatever you wish, Your Majesty."

Regina watches quietly as Robin pulls ahead, striding up the steps to the castle's large front doors. She hadn't even realized they were already back. Her heart sinks even further, and feels far heavier than it had before. Inside, she vehemently curses herself. Why can't she just simply accept his help, his comfort? Why does she always have to be like this, pushing others away when in truth she desperately needs them? Why does she have to be the kind of person to bring about suffering to someone as innocent as Robin, even when she doesn't mean it? Why does she have to be the kind of person to continue to wallow in despair and make life miserable for herself, not to mention those around her? Perhaps she should just disappear. They all would be better off without her anyway…

* * *

The blazing fire is a balm on Regina's icy skin. She huddles close, having pulled her cushioned seat as close as she can possibly get it. Vigorously, she rubs her hands and pinches her fingers to aid the return of blood flow. The familiar feeling of coursing magic returns, previously inhibited by the freezing temperature.

Regina takes a long exhale, her eyes trained on the hearth. Behind her rings the laughter of a little boy, who unbeknownst to her, had singlehandedly stolen the former queen's heart. With all the sweetness of a four-year-old, Roland Hood had come to view Regina as a mother figure of sorts. It's something that both warms and pains her heart. Ever since she'd saved him from one of the Wicked Witch's ridiculous flying monkeys, the young boy had clung to her. Having grown a particular affinity for being the former queen's "little knight," her protector, Roland took his job quite seriously and often became quite distressed when he would see Regina "act sad". This prompted the latter to make certain to try in particular to hide her emotions well from Robin Hood's son, so as not to upset him. Usually, her facade works well on Roland, however not as well as it should (much to Regina's dismay) when it comes to the young boy's father.

"Gina!" Roland's gleeful voice calls out the moniker that Regina once hated, but now has come to love. She hears a patter of footsteps across the castle's immense library.

Regina turns just in time to catch the young boy as he launches himself at her, a mess of curls brushing her nose and cheeks. "Roland, easy," she gently admonishes as she arranges him to sit more comfortably on her lap.

"Look what I made!" Roland holds up a pinecone attached to a short circle of string at the top. "It's an or-na-ment!" He enunciates, clearly showing off his pronunciation skills previously practiced with his father.

Regina glances past her little knight at Robin who sits at the end the library's long wooden table, watching her silently—passively. The former queen swallows hard as she feels that all too familiar feeling of guilt sit heavy in her stomach.

"Gina?"

Her gaze snaps back towards the boy in her lap as he looks up at her with all the eagerness of a puppy. He gives her that look that he most certainly had gotten from his father, one at which Regina can't help but smile. "It's beautiful," she compliments warmly, holding the boy close, "But do you know what would give it that last finishing touch?"

Roland bounces in her lap. "What, Gina, what?" He gasps. He holds up his precious ornament, letting it dangle in front of her. He's giddy with anticipation at the possibility of more of Regina's "magic tricks".

Regina smirks slightly as she lifts her free hand and waves it over the pinecone. Instantly, there's a pop and crackle as sparks appear just above before fluttering down upon the ornament to coat it with a shimmery layer of gold.

"Wow!" Roland breathes, reaching out to turn the pine cone this way and that to see how the library's dim light reflects upon his newly adorned masterpiece. He looks back up towards Regina. A wide grin spreads across his features, deepening the matching set of dimples that he shares with his father. "Thank you!" He squeals in delight before sliding off her lap.

Regina watches as the little boy runs back over to his father. "Papa! Look what Gina did!" He exclaims, holding up the pinecone.

"That's very beautiful, my boy!" Robin replies as he lifts Roland up into his lap, "Isn't that nice of Her Majesty?"

The thief catches Regina's eye for a moment before the latter is quickly looking away. The small exchange doesn't go unnoticed by the rest of the occupants of the room who sit idly by, enjoying the little bit of down time before the festivities begin.

Silently watching the whole scene play out before her eyes from across the room, Snow tilts her head, to which the former queen simply rolls her eyes. It must be amusing for the princess to witness such a game of cat and mouse, not truly realizing how hard it must be for both players to continuously be on a rollercoaster ride of relentless hot and cold. One would think that the pair would give it a rest, given that it is Christmas and all. But Snow supposes that even the holidays provide no good excuse.

"That's it! We're doomed! We can't have one nice celebration together, can we?!" A sudden voice shouts as the library's large double doors bang open.

With a frown, Regina looks up to find a distressed Grumpy marching into the room, followed by a handful of the other dwarves, Belle, and even Aurora and Phillip. "What's all this?" The former queen asks upon rising from her seat, as Snow and Charming do from theirs. Glancing across to the table, she sees Robin clutch Roland a little tighter to his chest.

"We were out hanging garlands from the balcony," Aurora begins, "when one of her winged monkeys showed up with a message."

Belle steps forward and hands Regina a scrap of parchment. Brows knitted together, the former queen stares intently down at the inscription.

 _Greetings to all, my lovely sister. Let all family gather to celebrate Christmas cheer. I'm saddened to hear I haven't gotten an invitation. Perhaps you'd just forgotten. Don't worry, I'll see you all soon enough._

"If she thinks she can ruin this holiday, she is dead wrong," Snow asserts as she grabs Charming's hand and squeezes it tightly with a determined look in her brown eyes.

"Well, she does seem quite determined to destroy my happiness," Regina sighs, crumpling up the letter and throwing it into the fireplace. "Maybe this ball is a bad idea."

Snow's eyes widen. "Regina, you can't possibly be implying what I think you're implying. We've worked too hard to put this together. Finally it's a celebration for all of us after everything that's happened."

"Speak for yourself," the former queen mutters disdainfully, earning another questionable look from the princess. Regina shakes her head and clears her throat. "What I'm saying is that she's not going to leave this ball alone. What with everyone in the kingdom to attend, myself especially, that's just a disaster waiting to happen."

"So we cancel the ball," Charming states sarcastically. He throws his hands in the air. "For all we know, the witch is just bluffing. That doesn't mean we show everyone that we cower in the face of evil."

Regina bristles. "It's not evil, it's wickedness," she huffs, "And no, you can keep your damn ball!" She blurts out before closing her eyes and sighing the moment she hears a harsh clearing of the throat from a certain thief holding his young son. She counts to ten before opening her eyes and starting again through clenched teeth. "You can drink, you can dance, you can stuff yourselves full to your hearts' content—"

"And what about you, Regina?" Snow interrupts, stepping towards her. She comes to stand in front of the former queen, her eyes swirling with some kind of sadness at the anticipation of Regina's answer. But she asks anyway. "What are you going to do?"

"I'll be coming up with a plan on how to defeat my sister," Regina spits, "so that you all can have a merry evening."

"Regina, you can't be serious," Snow breathes, her eyes widening.

The former queen glares at the princess. "Oh yes, I am," she retorts, "You'll be far better off without me, you'll see." After all, if she's not present, the Wicked Witch will be less likely to come and spoil the fun.

"Regina—" But the older brunette is already marching towards the door. "Regina, wait!"

But the doors have already closed.

* * *

"Regina, please think about this," Robin pleads, "You know how saddened everyone would be if you don't come."

Regina groans in exasperation as she angrily marches towards her vanity, pulling in vain at her once elegantly styled updo. "No, Robin, I don't," she snaps, "Why would they all be sad and miserable? They'd probably all soon be rejoicing for finally not having the burden of my problems pressing on their backs every waking moment of the day."

"But it's Christmas!" Robin protests, "Nobody deserves to spend it alone, not even you. Why do you keep feeling the need to punish yourself?"

"I'm not punishing myself. I just don't see the need in me coming. I put my two cents in to this extravaganza. I conjured them the finest tree in the forest. There's nothing else more of me that they need." With one final tug, long brunette tresses ripple down her back. Regina leans against the vanity, gazing at Robin through the mirror.

"I think you're afraid of seeing yourself worthy of their love. That's what this is about. Isn't it?"

Regina stiffens. "I don't need you psychoanalyzing me, Robin."

"And we don't need you closing yourself off from everyone," Robin sighs as he steps forward. Taking a chance, he reaches out and wraps his arms around the brunette's small frame, pulling her close to his chest.

The scent of pine needles, of the forest, envelops Regina from behind. And she can't help but relax into his arms once more.

"You need us, Regina," Robin continues, "And we need you. _I_ need you, and Roland as well."

Regina shakes her head, closing her eyes. "I will never know why."

Robin smiles gently. She can feel his nose press into her hair. "I think in time, you'll come to find out."

Slowly, Regina is turned in his arms until she is looking up into his fathomless sapphire gaze. He looks down at her almost with admiration, of understanding, and respect. It boggles her mind how he believes she is so deserving to warrant from him such a compassionate look. It's silent as they continue to gaze into each other's eyes, trying to read the hidden messages behind the other's orbs. Regina swallows hard as she sees the man's eyes dart to her lips. And suddenly, it's as if his hold becomes scorching hot. A blush creeps to her cheeks as her lips part ever so slightly. Now would be the time to attempt to release herself from his embrace. But before she can even think to do so, her body moves on her own accord and she leans up, connecting her lips with his in a soft but tentative kiss. She can feel Robin stiffen for but a moment in surprise before softening into her touch. But the moment doesn't last long, for she is abruptly pulling back with a wide-eyed gaze and dropping her hands from their grip on his arms. Looking anywhere but his eyes, Regina clears her throat and moves out from his personal space towards the closet, leaving the man to stand just as bewildered by the vanity.

After all, this was their first kiss.

"So I take it you're coming?" Robin finally breaks the silence as Regina begins to rifle through her various gowns.

Regina sighs, pausing for a moment to glance at him from over her shoulder. "I suppose I'll have to if nobody is ever going to leave me alone if I don't," she grumbles, but with a small smirk.

Robin laughs softly, shaking his head in slight amusement. If Regina didn't know any better, she'd believe him to look a bit proud that he'd finally somehow has managed to persuade the stubborn queen. "That's the spirit," he rejoices, blue eyes sparkling brightly.

* * *

 _Left, then right_. _Left, then right_. The thick material of her gown's skirts shift about Regina's feet as she descends daintily upon each step towards the floor of the castle's grand hall. All around her, the cheerful melody of flute and fiddle play, some medieval Christmas tune. Laughter fills the hall along with the clinking of glasses and cutlery. The festive aura seems to have spread like wildfire amongst the kingdom's inhabitants as they dance and drink gaily.

It's a joyous atmosphere that should normally lift a person's spirits. But for Regina, it only seems to rub salt into the wound, reminding her of yet another thing that she cannot share with the one person that matters most of all. No matter how hard she tries, she cannot seem to get herself into the festive mood. The former queen certainly looks the part, clothed in a beautiful off-shoulder red gown. Form-fitted at the top and spilling out at her hips, it's made of the finest tulle, covered in part by a layer of heavy gold brocade. Long raven locks are perfectly curled and pinned halfway up for extra volume. Rubies dangle from her ears along with a matching necklace that lays heavily upon her chest. Lips are rouge and eyes lined with her usual dark makeup, Regina looks every bit the regal queen that she is. Plastering on a gracious smile, she descends those stairs elegantly, eyes scanning many of those in the crowd who look up to witness agape as the former Evil Queen makes her entrance.

"You look stunning," Robin greets with a bright smile. He hooks his arm around Regina's as she approaches him by the very last step.

Regina smirks slightly, rolling her eyes. "You always say I'm stunning," she jibes before looking over the thief's form, clothed in a white tunic, a green festive vest, and cape. He looks handsome.

"And tonight is most certainly no exception," Robin replies. Regina gazes into his sparkling eyes, sighing inwardly. "Just try to enjoy yourself, okay?" He adds gently, reaching over with his other hand to take Regina's. The brunette gazes down as his thumb swipes across the back of her hand and exhales, nodding in compliance. "Shall I get you a drink?" Robin asks.

Regina nods again before watching him give her one last smile before heading off towards one of the tables. Whilst waiting for her drink, she takes the time to scan the room once more. Just across the way, Snow and Charming laugh along with Aurora and Phillip. Over by the pillars, Belle and Red are sharing what seems to be an engaging conversation, each one holding a goblet full of wine.

Regina is about to scan for one more person, though she need not look further when suddenly a high pitched, "Gina!" tears through the crowd. In seconds, there's a small body colliding with her legs, wrapping its arms as best he can around the layers of tulle. "You came!"

"That I did," Regina chuckles softly, detaching Roland from her legs and lifting the little boy up onto her hip. "You look so handsome!" She compliments, surveying his clothes almost identical to that of his father's.

"Thank you!" Roland exclaims, beaming up at her. His mood is almost infectious. "Can you dance with me?"

Regina's eyes widen. "Oh, I don't know…"

"Oh, come on, please? Just one? Pretty _please_?" Roland looks at her again with those large round dark eyes—the same look that Henry used to give her as well with the knowledge that with them, she'd do practically anything he'd wish.

Regina smiles sadly. "Okay," she acquiesces, "Just one."

And it's with that final statement that the former queen is carrying Roland out onto the dance floor and beginning a slow rock. She envelops the boy's hand with hers, as her hips sway gently back and forth in time to the music. Around her, villagers do the same with their partners, though some tossing glances at the former monarch. It makes Regina uncomfortable and very much out of place being amidst the people she once so callously ruled, but Snow had insisted that this one celebration be open to all citizens and not simply the nobles of the court. Whispers fill her ears despite the music being played at its loudest. They are whispers of disbelief, and some even with the slightest bit of contempt, left over from her previous years of reign. After all, it's the first time the infamous Evil Queen has ever been seen joining forces with the side of good. Can Regina blame them? _No_. But are they hard to hear? _Most certainly, yes_.

"Isn't this fun?" Roland questions, still smiling brightly as he tears Regina's attention away from the chatter.

Regina acknowledges him with a small smile of her own, shifting him from one side of her hip to the other. "Yes, dear," she answers, "But I think it's time I grab a drink, hm?" She heads off towards the outskirts of the circle, swiftly pushing through the throngs of staring citizens. But it's one snide remark that has her halting in her tracks.

"She can't possibly be capable of any real change, not after all the pain she's caused. I mean, look at her with that little boy, pretending to be all kind and precious to—I don't know—use him to her advantage for some unknown plot of hers? That child's parents, whomever they are, better watch him!"

Turning her head, Regina glares at the unsuspecting subject. After placing Roland down and urging him to find his father, she stalks towards the older blonde woman who dare make that comment. The former queen's eyes flash dangerously.

"You have no idea of who I am and what I've been through," Regina growls lowly, "So why don't you stop making assumptions of things that you don't understand and stay the fuck away from me!"

She storms past the now stunned woman, not even waiting to hear her retaliation, if there's any at all. At the edge of the dancing circle, Regina meets Robin whose smile instantly drops the moment he sees her seething features.

"Regina, what's wrong?" Robin asks as the brunette snatches a freshly poured goblet out of his hand and strides past him. She tips back the chalice and takes a large swig of wine, all the while blinking back the tears that have begun to sting her eyes.

"Nothing," Regina snaps abruptly, tipping the cup back once more to down the rest of the sweet crimson alcohol. She shoves the goblet back into Robin's hands and stalks off, leaving the thief yet again bewildered and deeply concerned.

Spotting Snow and Charming across the way, Regina marches towards the nauseatingly happy couple. "Please tell me you have guards stationed all around this place, because I don't see a single one," the former queen barks.

Snow blinks at her, a look of surprise overcoming her features before it is taken over once more by another one of her sickly-sweet smiles. "Oh relax, Regina, we'll be just fine!" She sings before holding out her goblet. "Have you tried the wine? It's absolutely delicious!"

Regina narrows her eyes at the giggling princess as she leans onto her equally empty-headed prince. "Do you not hear me?!" She tries again, her voice as sharp as a dagger, "There's a Wicked Witch out there waiting to pounce. This ball is like a death trap."

"I thought you said you weren't coming so we wouldn't have to worry about it," Snow reminds, tilting her head. Her tone isn't as serious as she probably would've hoped.

"Well, I'm here now," Regina announces sarcastically, holding out her arms with a roll of her eyes before she storms off. "Useless pieces of sh—"

"Gina! Come play with me!"

Regina spins around to find Roland jumping up and down at her feet, tugging at the fabric of her gown. "Not now, Roland. I have things to do."

"But it's a party! Please just come and play!" He pulls even harder. "We can go dancing again!"

Regina's eyes widen. "Roland, stop. I said 'not now'!" She stoops down, attempting to grab at her gown as the boy's tugging becomes more and more vigorous. "Let go!"

Roland's fists tighten, surprising Regina at how strong a grip the young boy has. "But—"

"Roland!"

In her anger and frustration, Regina yanks hard at the material of her gown. In that moment, there's a gut-wrenching sound of the thin tulle ripping followed by the former queen's horrified gasp. With her jaw dropping, she stumbles backwards from the force, only to suddenly crash into one of the servants carrying a tray of goblets. A cry escapes Regina's lips as red liquid splashes all over her shoulders, face, and down the side of her already ruined gown. The metal goblets and tray fall to the ground with a deafening crash. Regina doesn't even hear the servant boy's desperate apology.

"Goddammit, Roland! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

The words are out before she can even stop them. Instantly the music stops, and almost every single person in the hall stops and stares at the drenched and fuming former queen. Regina realizes her mistake almost instantaneously, but it's too late.

"Regina!" Robin shouts, surging forward to scoop up Roland, who is on the brink of tears. "How dare you speak to my son like that?!"

Regina watches Roland's lower lip tremble, and immediately, she is stabbed with a sharp pain to her heart.

"Roland I…" she chokes, struggling to hold back the tears that well up in her eyes, "I'm sorry."

Her breath hitches in her throat as she surveys the appalled looks of all the nobles and subjects. Regina spots the older woman from before who sports a satisfied look as if to say "I told you so". Snow and David stand by, looking just as shocked; but Snow having a look of that same sadness in her eye. The shock of the whole incident seemed to have sobered them up quite a bit.

"I…" Regina tries, but has no idea what to say. She's angry, mortified, and deeply in pain. She has nothing to say. So, with one last glance at Robin's harsh features as he tightly clutches his son who is now in tears, Regina waves a hand and allows herself to disappear in a cloud of magic.

* * *

She reappears on the balcony just outside her bedchamber. The minute the smoke clears, Regina breaks the very last bit of resolve she has left. Hot tears pour down her cheeks, mixing with that of the sticky trails of wine from earlier. Furiously brushing at them with the back of her hand, Regina can't move fast enough to catch the pools that splash over the balcony's thin railing. She breathes heavily, her hands flying then to grasp tightly at the bar. The cold metal that stings her heated palms is nothing compared to the pain in her heart.

It's all a mess. Her life is a mess. She had one more chance to try and be happy, and she fucked it all up. Regina breathes deeply, her tears residing slowly as a deep unadulterated self-loathing grabs hold of her heart. She snarls, in utter disgust at the thought of herself, her inability to find her happy ending. The way in which no matter how hard she tries to do good, she always ends up bringing even more suffering to others.

Regina straightens up as the thought occurs once again. And it is with that thought that she is leaning her upper body even further over the balcony railing, ready to commit the final act.

"Regina." A familiar voice suddenly calls softly from behind her.

Regina frowns, slowly turning her head to see the one person she had not at all expected to see, standing there with a look of sorrow upon her features.

"Think about what you're doing. Is this what you really want?"

The former queen closes her eyes, a few leftover tears leaking out from her lids. She turns back towards the balcony, eyes trained on the ground below. She feels far too vulnerable like this, showing her emotions so freely. It makes her feel weak. "Go away, Tinkerbell," Regina utters with a breath, her grip tightening even further on the railing.

"I don't think you can make me leave this time," the fairy says, stepping forward, "Not if you're going to do what I think you're going to do."

"Why does it matter to you?" Regina groans, "It's not like I'm any better for you than I am for anyone in that hall." She sighs deeply, closing her eyes. "Maybe it is just for the best that I disappear. No more pain."

"No more pain for you? Or for others?" Tinkerbell approaches Regina's side, looking out towards the starry night sky. The air is below freezing, but none of that seems to matter anymore, even as they both stand with minimal warmth of clothing.

"For everyone," Regina answers in a mumble, "I think it's maybe just better that I never existed." The thought has the brunette's eyes growing larger. For the first time, she looks towards the blonde's widened gaze. "Maybe that's just it."

"What? So you want to end your existence, right now?" Tinkerbell sighs. "Do you really think killing yourself would make everyone feel happier?"

"No, I'm saying that I shouldn't have _ever_ existed," Regina states, looking back out towards the night sky. "Think about it. If it weren't for me, everyone would be better off. Thousands of lives would be saved, Henry wouldn't be living with false memories, Roland wouldn't have his heart broken, and Robin…" Regina shakes her head. "He deserves someone better than me." She sighs. "I suppose it would have been better if I'd never been born at all…" _Yes, that's it_.

"So what are you saying?" Tinkerbell asks slowly.

"I'm saying I wish I'd never been born."

A sudden movement in her periphery catches Regina's attention. Turning once again, the former queen's eyes widen as she sees the fairy sprinkle what appears to be sparkling dust onto her palm from a small green pouch.

"Is that…pixie dust?" Regina questions, her brows pulling together.

Tinkerbell exhales loudly, shaking her head as she finishes shaking the now emptied pouch over her hand before tossing it to the ground. "I can't believe I'm doing this, but I think you leave me with no choice."

Regina frowns in confusion. "What do you mean? What is that?"

"I'm willing to grant your wish."

"What?!"

Tinkerbell shrugs a shoulder, a cryptic look crossing her features. "You'll see," she answers, smirking slightly before she is suddenly leaning forward.

In an instant, Regina's eyes reflexively snap shut. She coughs hard as the pixie dust fills her lungs, arms flailing in meager attempts to shoo away the magic as the fairy continues to blow the powder upon her. She doesn't realize that when the coughing subsides and when she opens her eyes, that she'll find herself in a very different place than she was before.

* * *

"What the hell is going on?!" Regina gasps as she squints into the blinding light of the sun. "What happened? Where am I?"

Beside her, Tinkerbell giggles, prompting the former queen to glare at her. It's then that she notices the changes around. It appears as if they are standing right in the middle of what used to be Regina's childhood estate. Dark eyes widen as they take in the familiar grassy fields, the large chateau with vines crawling elegantly up its centuries-old brick. Regina's heart clenches as she spots the stables nearby, the memory of the first man she'd ever truly loved making her chest painfully clench.

Looking down at herself, she finds that her wardrobe has changed as well. Gone is the ripped gown only to be replaced with a plain black frock and a pair of dainty slippers. Her long locks once drenched and matted with sticky red wine now shines in the sun as it hangs freely down her back. Her skin is clean and face freshly applied with new, subtler makeup.

"I don't understand," Regina says with a shake of her head as she runs her hands down the front of her dress. "What is happening?"

"I granted your wish," Tinkerbell replies simply, "You've never been born."

Regina's heart jolts in its place as a tremor runs up her spine. "Excuse me?! What are you saying?"

Tinkerbell shrugs. "I'm saying just that," she responds, "You've got your wish. You've never been born. Regina Mills doesn't exist."

At her reply, the former queen is letting out an incredulous laugh. "I don't believe it," Regina gasps, her eyes wide.

The fairy steps closer to her, a small smile upon her face. "Touch your lip. You know, the scar?"

Immediately, Regina's hand flies up to her top lip, but was once a small indent over her lip now is smooth soft skin beneath her fingers. "I don't believe it," she breathes, rubbing her finger back and forth. "This is crazy!"

"You've never been born, so you've never had the chance to even get that scar. You remember where it came from."

Regina nods slowly, recalling in her mind's eye the night she'd snuck off at the age of sixteen to rendezvous in the fields amongst the fireflies with Daniel. She remembers the sting of her mother's ring as it sliced through her lip, her face twisting to the side from the impact.

Regina takes a shuddering breath, trying her best to calm herself. "So, my parents?"

Tinkerbell nods. "They still exist. But they're different. They raised Zelena, you see. You may not know this, but your mother Cora was already pregnant with Zelena at the time she was to be married to King Leophold, believe it or not." Regina raises a brow, stunned at this new piece of information. "In the world where you do exist, your mother was forced to give Zelena up to ensure that she would move higher up in status from that of a poor miller's daughter. But in this world, you don't exist. Your mother never gave Zelena up, so by the time she wed your father, Zelena was just a babe. She had no choice but to keep the baby a secret until after the wedding, which infuriated your father. Over the years, that anger grew to coldness towards your sister, while your mother remained gentle, having kept her baby. And Zelena, she clung to Cora, just as you'd clung to your father. Quite the opposite tale, isn't it?"

Wordlessly, Regina slowly bobs her head. "Quite," she murmurs, her voice hardly audible as she tries to process it all.

Suddenly, the thundering of horse's hooves upon the grass can be heard. And the moment Regina looks up to see who it is, her jaw drops at the sight of who is approaching up over the small hill. For riding on a familiar brown thoroughbred is Zelena, young and spirited. Dressed in a green riding jacket and with her wild red locks tamed into a braid, the young witch jumps over the hurdles set out in her path, riding past Regina almost a bit too close for comfort.

"Don't worry," Tinkerbell explains, immediately reading the brunette's bemused expression. "Remember, you were never born. She can't see you. Nobody here can except me."

Regina laughs nervously, "Right, of course." She turns her attention back to the younger Zelena. "So, what? Zelena is in my spot now, it seems. She seems to have everything now that she ever wanted. Zelena did essentially want my life. It's a win for her." Regina shrugs. "What's the big deal. She probably would have dealt with it better than I ever would've."

Tinkerbell simply tilts her head in reply. "You may think this may be about Zelena. But it's not. Just watch and see how _your_ absence affects the people _you_ care about. That's what's most important."

It's then that Regina realizes her mother standing by, right in the direction in which the redhead is riding. But it's not the mother she remembers. Cora looks different. Her hair is down in waves about her shoulders. There's an easy, relaxed aura about her. She smiles lovingly at Zelena, the look of pride spread over her features as she watches her daughter jump the very last hurdle.

"Well done, my daughter!" Cora praises, her smile widening as she moves to greet Zelena as the redhead jumps from the horse. "You're getting better every day."

"Thank you, mother," Zelena breathes, beaming happily.

"Better?" Regina's eyes widen as suddenly, out from behind Cora, her father steps. Though, now, she can hardly call him that. For the father she remembers is not the one who is now staring at Zelena with a frigid glare of disapproval. "I hardly call that better," the man continues, shaking his head in dismay.

"You don't like it father?" Zelena asks.

"You ride like a man. A lady should be graceful. You should use a saddle."

Zelena sighs, shaking her head. "I was just having fun…"

"Well, you're getting a little too old for fun."

Regina slowly exhales, lowering her gaze from the scene that plays out before her. In her chest, her heart beats painfully. Her lips remain parted as she slowly sucks air in another slow inhale, all in attempts to steel her emotions. However deep down, it deeply pains her to see her father speak to Zelena, with the same volume of harshness, the same words that her mother spoke to her. It breaks Regina's heart to see her beloved father whom she knew to be one of the most kindhearted and soft-spoken people, now without love in his heart and as cold as a winter's night. And it's all because of his anger towards the fact that Zelena was both a secret and not his true biological daughter.

"So you see now?" Tinkerbell interjects gently in the middle of Regina's inner turmoil, "This is about Henry, not Zelena. Because your father never experienced the love for a child of his own, that closeness with a daughter like you, his story would play out far more different than it did when you were alive. All because of the darkness he holds in his heart, Henry wanted to turn Zelena into this perfect daughter to fill that void, just as your mother did with you."

Regina frowns thoughtfully, an agonized expression upon her face. "I never thought about how much I really meant to him…," she whispers, glancing once more at her father's stern expression, "…that not being there would change his whole personality."

"It's more than that," the fairy adds, "Personality is so superficial. It changed his whole heart, even right down to the core of his soul. You were the light of his life. You gave him something to live for, someone to truly love and cherish. With Zelena came nothing but secrecy and darkness."

Regina gasps as a swirl of silver magic surrounds her body and the view of her family's fields. The last thing she sees, before darkness shrouds her gaze, is the image of Zelena running from her father and towards the stables.

When Regina opens her eyes, it is nighttime. She is dressed in the same clothes but certainly not standing in the same spot as she was before. Though, she is certain that she is still in the Enchanted Forest—or well—a version of it. As Regina takes in her new surroundings, she surmises now that she must be standing somewhere deep in the woods at the very back of her family's estate. For there is the creek nestled amongst the trees to her right, where she and Daniel would meet late at night. She does find a figure standing there, looking as if he's patiently waiting for someone to join. But as the former queen draws nearer, she sees that it's not her beloved Daniel, but her father instead.

"What's he doing?" Regina whispers as Tinkerbell comes up beside her, also staring intently at the older man.

"You'll see," the fairy says.

It's just then that the same thundering of hooves against the forest floor approaches. And before Regina can move to properly detect where the sound is coming from, another horse flies by, just barely missing her. It's a black horse, whose rider sports a matching hooded cape that covers the better part of his face. Regina cannot make out who it is. With an intrigued frown, the former queen steps closer so that she can hear the conversation between the mystery rider and her father.

"A pound of gold as requested," Henry states, slapping a pouch into the rider's outstretched hand.

The man's hooded head tilts downward at the money, a short silence before he speaks. "No," he declares, "Not enough."

"But it's what you requested," the old man argues, "I will go no higher."

"I changed my mind," the rider responds coolly, "Do you want this job done or not?"

Another pregnant pause before Henry is then letting out a disgruntled sigh. "Done." He tosses a second pouch of gold in the man's direction. "Now I expect that you do what I ask and do it quickly. Stage it so that it looks like the boy was killed by some kind of accident, you know how it goes."

Regina's eyes widen upon the realization that… "No," she breathes, her hands flying to her mouth, "He can't be…"

Tinkerbell solemnly nods. "Your father sent an assassin to kill Zelena's lover when he'd found out the secret from Snow White. He made her marry the king thereafter. But Zelena had eventually realized that it was her father who'd orchestrated the deed. This realization, along with the perpetual feeling that she was never enough, turned her down the path of darkness. That then brought her to seeking out the help of the Dark One, to train in the art of magic in hopes to gain as much power as she possibly could, all to prove her father wrong."

"But…" Regina closes her eyes as she begins to feel tears well up inside. She slowly lowers her hands and takes a shaky breath. Regina tilts her head upward and stifles a sob that builds in her chest, heartbroken to find that without her, her father would have been the one to essentially catalyze relatively the same events that occurred in her own history. The very idea knocks her to the core. Her father was too kind, too gentle, too compassionate. Seeing him like this, committing an act so immoral is wrong, just plain wrong. He didn't deserve such pain, such darkness. But her absence enabled it to be so.

Regina feels a hand lay gently on her shoulder. Opening her eyes, she looks to the fairy with glistening orbs. "I can't see any more of this," she says, shaking her head, "Take me away."

"Okay," says Tinkerbell softly, "But we have other places to see. It's all part of the gift."

"It doesn't feel like much of a gift anymore," Regina mutters, "More of like a curse."

"It will be a gift, I promise," the fairy insists, "You just need to have the courage to find out for yourself and realize just how much you really mean to other people. Your absence is not simply just an open space that your sister Zelena can just fill. It affects everyone at a far deeper level. Either for the best or the worst, you touch people's hearts and souls in a unique way that no one else can. And because of that, they would be different people without you. Take your father for example and the events you've just witnessed."

Regina presses her lips together, reluctantly letting out a breath in acknowledgment. However, deep down, she is still unsure. How much different can people really change that drastically if she never existed? Shouldn't the pain and suffering she caused all these years outweigh any bit of good she could have possibly placed within their hearts?

But nonetheless, curiosity having gotten the best of her, the former queen nods. "Fine," she huffs, "Show me what's next."

And with that, the swirl of silver returns.

* * *

The Enchanted Forest, three years later. It's nighttime again. Regina's heart almost stops the moment she recognizes the place in which she now stands. Her blood runs cold as the vainly repressed memories of standing in this very same spot, resurface once more, at the mere sight.

"You remember, don't you?" Tinkerbell asks quietly, staring at the stiffening former queen.

"Yes," Regina numbly answers, her dark eyes wide.

It is silent between the two of them, save for the muffled sound of laughter and music, which becomes clear as a familiar wooden door abruptly swings open in front of them and three drunks stumble out. Regina watches agape as they part around her and Tinkerbell. She turns to watch them stagger their way down the cobblestone road, falling over one another with bouts of laughter. With a lump forming in her throat, and her heartbeat increasing, Regina looks to the fairy.

"This isn't…" Regina starts, almost wanting to believe that it's not the same place.

"But it is," Tinkerbell finishes.

Regina turns back towards that door, that _same_ door, and that _same_ criss-crossed, fogged-up window through which she had looked so many years ago.

"You remember the guy with the lion tattoo?" Tinkerbell prompts, "Your soulmate?"

Swallowing hard, Regina silently nods.

"Do you want to go in?" The fairy inquires gently as if she were coaxing a child.

There is a moment's pause as Regina contemplates whether she should, this time, or not. But after what she has seen so far, this can't be any worse, can it? The former queen nods again and the pair make their way into the dimly lit tavern.

Regina doesn't get very far once inside before she's stopping short. Her heart begins to pound at the sight of a man sitting across the way, illuminated by the tavern light hanging above. His arm is outstretched as he waits for his drink to be refilled. Before, only his back could be seen, but now, Regina is able to get a clear view of the man's face.

"No," she breathes, abruptly turning to Tinkerbell with a shocked and incredulous look upon her features. If the fairy didn't know any better, there's also that all too familiar fear swirling within her widened dark orbs, especially now at the realization of who "the guy with the lion tattoo" really is. " _Robin_ is my soulmate?!"

Tinkerbell dips her head. Regina tries to ignore the young fairy who tries to, but quite clearly unsuccessfully, tamper her smile. "It appears so. You can't say that you're _that_ surprised. I always believed you two seemed to have good chemistry right from the moment you first met."

"He's insufferable!"

"Is that why you keep stealing glances at him whenever you think no one's looking?" Tinkerbell teases lightly, "You may think you're doing well at hiding behind your apparent irritation with the guy, but you can't fool me—or even him for that matter."

Regina rolls her eyes.

Tinkerbell shrugs. "Think what you may, but that thief means more to you than you might even realize."

Regina sighs, thinking back to their brief moment before the party, before all hell broke loose. She thinks back to the moment their lips had touched, the fact that it was she who'd initiated it first. It was sweet at the time, but how long would it really last? Not long apparently, for she saw the way Robin looked at her the minute she'd fucked up: with anger and disappointment in his eyes.

"So what?" Regina grumbles abruptly, "What does it matter how I think? He doesn't want me, not after what I did. And why would he?"

"Because he understands you, Regina. He understands the darkness."

Regina shakes her head. "I hardly believe that. He's a hero. He steals from the rich and gives to the poor. He is loved by pretty much everyone, he has so much."

"But he also lost so much," Tinkerbell reminds, "His wife." The fairy sighs. "Regina, do you remember what I told you in Neverland, about how selfish it was for you to never enter this tavern, or to never even go back to find him?"

"You said I ruined his life because of it."

"Because you didn't meet him, he fell in love with another woman." The fairy shakes her head. "Robin wasn't meant to be with Marian. She wasn't his soulmate. And because of that, he lost her."

Regina shakes her head. "So what's the difference then if I never existed?" She asks, "Either way, it appears he was shrouded in darkness, according to you."

"The difference is hope, hope stemming from the magic that either directly or indirectly connects a person to his or her soulmate, despite the fact that he or she might not be aware of it at all." Tinkerbell gestures towards the seated thief. And it's then that Regina realizes that he is not surrounded by a group of other patrons like he was when she first saw him. He is sitting alone, away from everyone.

"Look at it this way. In our world where you are alive and you do exist, yes, Robin went through a period of darkness because of his wife's untimely death," the fairy continues to explain, "But hope was still present because of his son. And now, it seems as if Roland is playing a crucial part in bringing you and Robin together. So you see how it works? The magic of soulmates is like a thread. It connects everyone involved. But in this world where you never existed, Roland unfortunately died as well along with Marian in childbirth. So Robin never experienced lasting hope, that thread of magic that would connect him to his son and then eventually to you."

Regina frowns deeply. "So what? He just has nobody? No replacement?"

The fairy shakes her head. "No, Regina. Remember what I told you. Your absence isn't just a place to be filled. In this case, you can't just replace soulmates, no matter what realm or alternate universe. If you're not here, if you were never born, Robin simply just doesn't have a soulmate because no one can ever replace you. And the same would go for you, if he were to never exist."

Regina turns her gaze back towards Robin, who currently is staring into his half-empty beer. Her heart begins to clench just as it did before. With her chest constricted, every breath is painful. And no matter how much she tries to suppress her emotions, Regina can't help but feel a deep sadness and empathy for the thief. It makes her realize that she actually really cares about him, not just his feelings but everything about him—his whole wellbeing. She _wants_ him to be happy, to find peace.

The tavern door suddenly bangs open from behind, making Regina jump. It also startles Robin, as he abruptly lifts his head to see who just entered. It appears to be a gang of some sorts, the kind from which one should probably keep a good distance.

"Ah there he is!" One of the members, a tall muscly man covered in furs, booms upon immediately spotting the lone outlaw. "Our favorite thief. Say, you stole anything good recently? We could use some extra money around here." The others snicker at the mockery. "Oh right, you don't have anything. You nearly got caught!"

Robin glares daggers at the men, his eyes cold and unfeeling. "Fuck off," he snarls, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, but I do," the man in furs answers with a grin as he stalks towards the thief, "I know that I can't even imagine being a man so pathetic that he has resort to stealing for himself. Not only that, but a man so incompetent that he can't even steal the _right_ way without getting busted."

"I'm warning you…"

"Has all that alcohol gone to your head? Are you hearing voices, Locksley?"

Robin grits his teeth. "I said 'fuck off'!"

"What would Marian say if she saw you right now?"

A blur of movement and suddenly there's a scream that curdles Regina's blood. She watches in horror as Robin thrusts a dagger into the side of the man's neck. Bile seeps up her throat as blood spurts from the wound. All around, other patrons and waitresses shriek in horror as the other men prepare to avenge their now dead leader.

Regina herself gives a loud cry as she lunges towards Robin, her fingertips burning with magic, only to be yanked back by Tinkerbell.

"No, Regina!" The fairy forbids, her fingers tightly grasping the former queen's forearm. "You can't help him."

Regina watches helplessly as the men charge forward, their knives swiping at Robin as he struggles to fend them off. She looks to Tinkerbell, deeply distraught. Taking pity on her, Tinkerbell waves her hand. And immediately they are transported from the scene.

"I can't believe this!" Regina exclaims once the smoke clears and they are back in the forest, away from the chaos. She paces back and forth as she lifts both hands to her head, tugging on her hair, "It's absurd!"

"What is?" Tinkerbell inquires, calmly watching the former queen tread right and left.

Regina groans. "Just this whole thing. I can't believe the absence of my own birth would affect him in this way. It's like I don't even know him anymore." She comes to a stop, her back to Tinkerbell.

"Kind of like how you felt when you saw your father," the fairy acknowledges.

"Yes," Regina nods, "It's not right. None of this is right."

"It's not," Tinkerbell agrees, "But it does make you see just how _right_ things are when you _are_ around, even if you didn't realize it before?"

Regina exhales slowly. Perhaps, but she is still not so sure. She just simply can't get past the fact that regardless, she has hurt others in ways that one can't comprehend. Who's to say that she won't keep repeating her ways over and over again? In Robin's case, what makes him so different? Even if they do become as close as they're destined to be, there's always the expression saying that a person always ends up hurting the ones closest.

"I know you think there's no difference between the darkness you fear you will bring to your soulmate and the darkness that he's experiencing without you," Tinkerbell states approaching the former queen from behind, "But remember, with you never having been born, Robin has no way of recovering from his suffering. At least with you, he still has _you_ , the person he cares deeply about no matter what. He can still forgive you."

Regina shakes her head. "I don't know," she mutters defeatedly.

At her reply, Tinkerbell smiles softly, laying a hand once more on the brunette's shoulder. "I have one more place, one more time, to show you."

Regina's eyes widen. "Are you serious?"

"Quite," the fairy replies, "One last place to show you and then I think you'll finally understand your worth."

Regina scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Can you get any cheesier?" She groans.

Tinkerbell laughs. "Well, I am a fairy after all." She winks at the former queen before straightening herself. "So, what do you say? Ready to go?"

"What choice do I have, really?" Regina retorts, to which Tinkerbell chuckles again.

"That's the spirit!"

* * *

The sun is bright once again, blinding Regina for a moment before her eyes can focus.

"Holy f…" Regina breathes, voice trailing off as she looks up to see Storybrooke's clocktower looming over her. Glancing down at herself, she finds herself dressed in her own usual style of this realm's clothes: a crimson silk button-down and a pair of black trousers underneath a heavy black fitted trench coat, along with a pair of heels. Her hair is straightened and short as it would normally be in this world, barely sweeping the tops of her shoulders. Regina runs a hand through her locks with a breath.

"Welcome to Storybrooke," Tinkerbell announces, gesturing out towards Main Street.

Regina's brows furrow in slight confusion, choosing to remain silent.

"This is where I'll leave you now, the very last part of your gift."

This last statement gets Regina talking. "Wait, what?"

"You were able to see what happened to a select few when you were not in the picture," Tinkerbell shrugs, jutting her chin in the direction of the street, "Now, your wish is _fully_ granted so that you can go and see for yourself, experience firsthand how different things are here without you."

"Tinkerbell…" Regina gasps as a swirl of silver magic surrounds the blonde. "No, wait!"

But the fairy vanishes, leaving the former queen alone on the street.

Regina growls in frustration, anxiously running a hand through her hair once more. _Fuck_. With all of this transportation and these events occurring one after another, it's like she can hardly tell what's real anymore. _Did I really drink that much wine at the party?_ Shaking her head at herself, Regina starts forward, heading down Main Street. Maybe this is another curse that Zelena had cast, one that suddenly brought everyone back from the Enchanted heads in the direction of Granny's in the hopes that someone will tell her what the fuck is going on.

A chilling breeze swoops the streets as clouds above suddenly begin to roll in. Regina shivers, continuing her way towards the brightly lit diner. As she draws nearer, she realizes the garland and bows that hang from the outer fence. It must be Christmas here as well.

The moment Regina pushes the door open, she is hit with a wave of warmth and the smell of freshly brewed coffee and pastries. As she steps inside, she notices immediately how almost everyone in the small space gazes up from whatever they were doing and stares at her. Swallowing hard, Regina closes the door quietly and heads over to the counter, trying to ignore the eyes that press upon her back.

"Granny," Regina calls, upon seeing a familiar face. The older woman glowers at her, however ambles towards her, coffee pot in hand. Regina leans over the counter's surface. She sighs. "Can you—just—tell me what's going on?" She asks, "I thought we were all at the Christmas ball."

"Ball?!" Granny laughs bitterly, scoffing at the word, "What makes you think there would ever be a Christmas ball around here?"

Regina frowns deeply. "What do you mean?"

"What with all of the money—our _tax_ money—that she squanders, we don't have the funds for a nice big celebration. Please don't tell me you don't know about that!"

Regina innocently shakes her head. "Oh, I'm sorry, I really didn't know." She swallows hard. Even as the former Evil Queen turned mayor, during that first awful curse, she had still allowed for a little celebration around the holidays, mostly for the sake of Henry. "And who is 'she'?" Regina inquires further.

" _She_? What are you, daft? The mayor! Zelena Mills!"

At this, Regina's eyes widen. "What?" She breathes, "That can't be…"

"Oh yes it can, if Madam Mayor wills it," Granny spits, "Bitch can get whatever she wants in this town." Immediately, all heads turn once more towards the old woman, prompting her to roll her eyes and groan out loud. "Oh, come on, what is she going to do?" She asserts, "This is my diner, I can say whatever I please." Regina swallows hard, clearing her throat as Granny turns her attention back towards her. "Who are you anyway?"

The question stuns Regina. Her stomach plummets to her feet. "Regina M—" She clears her throat. "I mean, Regina. Just Regina."

The older woman stares at her, skeptically surveying Regina's form up and down and making her shift uncomfortably. "So, do you want something or not?" Granny demands eventually, "I don't have all day."

Regina exhales, slowly shaking her head as she lowers her gaze. "No," she murmurs, "Thank you anyway." And with that, she is moving from the counter and making her way towards the exit.

"Next time you come in here, make certain you order something. I'm not a newspaper or gossip magazine."

Regina sighs, deciding that it's not worth it to respond. She heads from the diner silently, back out into the cold. She has no idea of where to head next.

The wind has begun to pick up a bit. Regina shivers violently as she wraps her arms tightly around her waist, braving the freezing gusts as much as she can. Up above, the sky is now burdened with dark, ominous clouds.

If she doesn't get inside soon, Regina is certain she'll freeze to death. Rounding the corner, she spots the sheriff's station nearby and walks as fast as she can towards her new destination. Bursting through the doors, Regina catches her breath, welcoming the warmth once again. She runs a hand through tousled locks.

"Getting stormy out there?" A voice suddenly greets.

Regina looks up to find Emma emerging from the sheriff's office. "Emma!" She breathes, eyes widening as she strides towards a slightly confused blonde. "I can't believe you're here!"

"What do you mean?" Emma asks, "I'm always here, especially now that the mayor requires me to work overtime, even on this fine Christmas Eve." She snorts. "Must be punishment for 'refusing to follow orders and putting all of Storybrooke at risk'." She sarcastically makes dramatic air quotes with her fingers.

Regina tilts her head. "How are you doing that?" she questions.

Emma shakes her head. "It's just this one kid. He's been off and on the streets all his life, breaking into shops and stealing stuff." She sighs. "Zelena wants to throw him back into the system in Boston, where he originally came from, but I'm trying to find a family here. The system's a bitch, as you know it. But of course the mayor sees him merely as a threat to the town that has to be extinguished no matter what."

As the sheriff speaks, Regina can't help the dread that begins to fill her chest. She doesn't know whether she should continue pressing for the truth or not.

"What is his name?" she asks slowly, hesitantly.

"Henry," Emma replies, "He doesn't have a last name."

At this, tears well up immediately in Regina's eyes. Abruptly, she turns her head from the blonde. _No, not Henry_.

"Um, are you okay?" Emma inquires, cautiously stepping towards the deeply distressed woman.

Regina shakes her head, wiping at the corner of her eye. She inhales, steeling herself as she looks back towards the blonde. "I'm fine, it's just…I may know him." She takes a shaky breath. "May I see him?"

With a lump in her throat, and her heart painfully beating away at her chest, Regina follows Emma into the back room. _Oh God, please let him remember me_.

Ten paces forward and they are at the entrance. One more step, they round the corner. And there sitting cross-legged quietly on the bed in the cell, his head hanging forward, is her baby boy.

"Henry," Regina can barely whisper out as she takes one shaky step towards the cell. He doesn't respond. "Henry," she calls out again, a little more fervent this time as she comes to stand close, her hand wrapping around the bar. The boy looks up at her. And the look he gives her makes Regina want to double over and cry. He looks right through her, his eyes distant and unfeeling.

"Please remember me," Regina whimpers, "Please, baby." She closes her eyes and opens them once more, trying desperately with her gaze to reach his. Even in reality, outside this alternate universe, Regina knew that Henry's memories would still be erased because of her sacrifice. But knowing that and experiencing it, that empty emotionless gaze, are two completely separate things. "Please," she tries one last time, "I need you."

But Henry says nothing. He simply stares back at her without a single sign of recognition. He looks so broken.

Regina closes her eyes, letting a few tears leak out before she is quickly wiping them away. She turns back towards Emma who watches silently by. And it occurs to her that the blonde must not even know that he is her son as well. But looking even further back, without Regina, Henry had no mother to begin with—to take him in, to love him unconditionally. Regina inhales slowly as another bout of tears distorts her vision.

Emma smiles sympathetically at her. "I'm sorry he doesn't remember," she says quietly.

All Regina can do is shake her head. "It was bound to happen," she whispers, her voice broken. With another shake of her head, she starts towards the exit, the sheriff following on her heels.

"Can I have your name?" She calls, "I know it might be a lot, but maybe you can be his new family."

Regina halts in the middle of the corridor, her lungs squeezing in pain. "Regina," she chokes out, "It's Regina." And without any further word, in fear that she'll completely break down, she rushes swiftly towards the door.

It has begun to snow, small flurries fluttering down towards the earth. Many embed itself in her hair as she walks numbly down the street, her arms wrapped firmly around her chest. It's so cold that her tears feel as if they're freezing upon her flushed cheeks.

Walking against the gusts of wind, Regina feels as if she's been walking for hours. She doesn't know where she's headed. That is, until she looks up and finds herself standing in front of a neatly trimmed hedge, the same one that lines the front of the property of her grand Mifflin Street mansion. Though now, Regina is certain that her beloved home is no longer hers.

But what she doesn't expect to see is a green Ford truck pull into the driveway. And it is _Robin_ who steps out, hauling bags of what appears to be groceries, towards the front of the house. Regina's jaw drops open as she blinks her eyes, unable to believe the sight of the man before her. So many questions flood her mind, questions that for once Regina is all too willing to push aside. For there he is. She thinks back to the brutal fight in the tavern, when she truly believed he had been seriously injured or worse, hadn't survived. But there he is, struggling the short distance with those heavy bags towards the front door.

And before Regina can even comprehend her actions, she is surging forward and rushing towards the unsuspecting man.

"Robin!" She cries, her voice high pitched over the howling blizzard wind. "Robin, it's me!"

Without thinking, Regina rushes up to him. And before he can even turn fully in her direction, she takes his face with both her hands, forcing him to look at her. Grocery bags drop to the ground.

"Bloody hell!" Robin curses, "What the—"

"Robin, please, don't you know me? You have to remember me!"

"What do you mean?" Robin breathes, "I've never seen you before in my life!" He tries to twist out of her grasp. But Regina continues to remain steadfast.

"No, no, no. Please don't do this," she sobs, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I can't take this any longer. My own son doesn't recognize me. Not you too." In her desperate display of emotion, she presses her lips to his. "Please! You _have_ to remember me!" Regina pulls back, struggling to look into his beautiful blue eyes, to find what little bit of warmth and recognition that she can from the bewildered man. But he looks back at her panicked and even perhaps angry.

"What in the world do you think you're doing?!" Suddenly, a feminine voice slices through Regina's frenzy. She freezes, looking then to find both she and Robin bathed in light, as the mansion's front door is now open. And none but Zelena is storming her way towards the two of them. "Who the hell are you?!" She screeches, "And what are you doing with your hands on my husband?!"

Regina's eyes widen. And suddenly, she sees nothing but red. "You," she snarls.

Zelena's shrieks pierce the air as the brunette's fist connects with the corner of her mouth. Regina almost watches in pleasure as the redhead ungracefully lands on her back. Her lip is split, but it's not enough. Regina surges forward once more. Kneeling over Zelena, she is able to get another swing in to the witch's nose, almost laughing as blood begins to run. But it's as she goes for a third, she catches Robin's eye as he looks at her in horror. Though he may not recognize her, it's the same look—the same as the one he'd given her back in that grand hall. And that's enough to clear the red as Regina slowly stands from her position atop Zelena. She stares at Robin, her eyes wide, almost pleading for forgiveness. But it's no use.

"Call the police," Zelena grunts, spitting out blood as she struggles to stand, "Now, Robin!"

Regina watches as Robin immediately searches his pockets for his cellphone. She is about to let herself be caught, let herself be handed into the authorities at the station and locked up beside her son. But suddenly, there's a voice inside her head, one that resembles much of the fairy who'd left her here in the first place. _"Run, Regina! Go! Get out of there!"_

So without another thought, Regina bolts, running as fast as she can on the slippery, snow-coated sidewalk, as fast as her heels can carry her.

She gets as far as the surrounding woods before sirens can be heard in the distance. Yet even then, she pushes through, starting down the snowy path into Storybrooke Forest.

It's snowing hard now. Thick flakes descend heavily upon the forest floor. They get trapped in Regina's hair and stuck on her eyelashes. Her nose, cheeks, hands, and feet are numb, but she continues on anyway. Just up ahead, sounds the rushing waters of the river, and Regina knows she's near the Toll Bridge. Her hands tightly clasped to her chest and her teeth chattering, she starts towards the overpass. Regina tries as hard as she can to maintain her balance as she staggers up the slippery wood until she can go no further. Tightly grasping the bridge's railing, she looks down at the violent waters below.

 _Fuck, what have I gotten myself into?_

Regina closes her eyes, another sob escaping her lips as tears begin to flow once more. She doesn't hold back this time. More sobs continue to rack her body, the pain in her heart from all these revelations far worse than the freezing pain of this blizzard upon her skin.

"P-please," Regina barely whispers. She knows not who she's talking to. She just hopes that someone is listening. "Please, just…just get me back." She squeezes her eyes even tighter. "I don't care what happens to me, I just… I want to live again." Regina shakes her head, crying out this time in a stronger voice, "I want to live again. Please! Dear God, let me live again!"

It's the breeze which she realizes as the first thing that's changed: the way it prickles her bare arms, moving up towards her open shoulders. Regina frowns, another shiver traveling up her spine. She opens her eyes slowly, gasping softly as she sees not the coursing waters of the river below, but the tranquil castle gardens whose silver Christmas lights shine in the night like many stars. No longer are her fingers clasped around the Toll Bridge's railing, but the thin metal railing of her balcony. Her body still trembling, Regina slowly lifts her hands and hugs her arms around herself. Gone are her clothes from Storybrooke, only to be replaced once more with the ones she'd been wearing before this whole journey started. Her palms brush against her cold skin before slowly traveling across her abdomen and down the tulle skirts of her festive gown. Lifting the fabric slightly, she finds that the tear is still there. And upon touching her face and hair, she still feels the sticky residue of the red wine that previously splashed her skin.

Heart pounding, Regina stumbles backwards from the railing. Swiveling on her heel, she rushes back into her bedchamber and approaches her vanity. And there, amidst her disheveled reflection, the mascara that had begun to run, the stains of both the wine and her tears, the strings of once perfectly curled locks, remains her scar just above her upper lip. As she lifts a hand and runs her fingers over the small indent, Regina lets out a small laugh, feeling an overwhelming sense of peace overcome her heart for the first time this holiday season. And she smiles genuinely. _I'm back._

* * *

The entire hall is silent as all occupants stand frozen in fear, backs still and hands trembling. She storms her way amongst the throngs of citizens, black gown swirling around her ankles. Eyes scour the place, searching for that one person whom she loathes the most.

"If my sister is not here in five minutes, this place will be turned to ash," the Wicked Witch threatens with a snarl.

She continues to search through the crowd, eyes scanning until suddenly she stops at a certain thief who scowls defiantly at her whilst poised with his bow and arrow.

"Ooh!" Zelena purrs, stepping into his space, "And who might _you_ be? You're pretty thing, aren't you?"

Robin bristles as she reaches a hand towards his face. He's just about to pull back when suddenly, there's a deep, harsh voice that booms throughout the room.

"If you dare lay your hands on him, I swear to God, you better be ready to be well acquainted with my fist." Gasps filter through the hall as suddenly, all eyes turn towards the grand staircase. And there she is.

 _Left, then right_. _Left, then right_. Regina gracefully descends down into the grand hall for the second time this evening. What was initially a walk with uncertainty and a heavy-laden heart is now one of purpose and of strength. Her darkened eyes are dead set on the Wicked Witch who grins delightedly.

"Oooh!" Zelena exclaims, clapping her hands together, "This is exciting and new, isn't it? The Evil Queen all defensive... _over a man_?"

Regina growls. "How dare you come here now," she continues, choosing to ignore her sister's mockery as she marches forward. Gone is her tattered gown, as she wears a new one of golden silk and satin. Her hair hangs fully down, falling in waves over her shoulders. Her makeup is bright and warm.

"You didn't think I would miss all the fun, would you?" Zelena coos, "After all, I am part of the family. And last I checked, Christmas is all about family."

Regina shakes her head firmly. She steps straight into Zelena's space, eyes searing hers. "You are no family," she spits, "Get out. I will not let you ruin this Christmas." Her gaze is dark and menacing.

There's a brief but tense silence between the two sisters as they stare each other down. That is until the Wicked Witch sighs dramatically, waving a hand with a flair. "Fine," she sings, "I suppose my gift to you will be this happy, happy evening. But just remember that soon after, my real work will begin. And all of the happiness that you feel right now _will_ be destroyed."

" _Bring it_ , Greenie," Regina growls, her eyes sparkling with challenge, "We'll be ready."

Zelena's lips split into a wicked grin, eyes flashing as she cackles lowly in Regina's face. It's then that she steps back and flicks her wrist, immediately surrounding herself in green clouds of magic. And when the smoke clears, she is nowhere to be found.

Regina breathes out a sigh of relief, allowing her shoulders to slacken. They're safe, for now. With Zelena now out of the way, she turns towards the one person she truly meant to see. With another breath, Regina gazes meekly to her newfound soulmate.

Robin looks at her with an expression that she can't quite read. Though, his sparkling sapphire orbs suggest a hint of wonder in his gaze. It sends butterflies that flutter about the pit of her stomach and a small glimmer of hope that perhaps she still has a chance to fix this. All around, people begin to murmur once more. But she pays them no mind as she steps towards the one man on whom she is solely focused.

"Hey," she whispers quietly, looking up at Robin, her thief—her soulmate.

"Hey," Robin answers, his voice smooth and gentle as he looks her up and down. "You look different."

Regina smiles tenderly, shaking her head as she glances down at herself. "Let's just say I've had a change of heart."

Robin arches his brow. "Have you now?" He asks, his lips twitching with a small smirk.

Regina laughs softly, nodding in reply. "Yes, I have." She gazes deeply into his eyes, searching, really connecting. "And I was wondering, if you'll forgive me, for everything," she whispers.

Cheeks beginning to heat, she drops her gaze. But then it's the soft touch of his finger that lifts her chin back up to meet his eyes once more. "Of course I will," Robin answers.

Regina grins, relieved, and lets out another laugh. Robin smiles brightly, shaking his head before wasting no more time to bend down and peck her lips, much to the gasps of everyone else in the room. But Regina couldn't care less.

"Gina?" A little voice calls from below.

With her eyes widening, Regina breaks from Robin to drop down on one knee, facing Roland at his level. "Oh Roland," she sighs, "I'm so sorry for losing my temper and yelling at you. Will you forgive me?"

And with all the unconditional love and forgiveness of a child, Roland throws himself at her, wrapping his arms around Regina's neck. "Yes!" He exclaims gleefully, "'Course I will!" The way he mimics his father is absolutely adorable.

Regina laughs happily, squeezing the little boy tightly before letting go and looking into his large brown eyes. "You make me so happy, dear," she states, "You and your father." She glances up at a smiling Robin. "And I will always cherish you and keep you safe, no matter what."

It's then that she catches Roland's eye as he looks secretively between her and his father, a small furtive smirk on his lips. Tilting her head, Regina stares inquisitively at Robin who silently nods at his son, biting his lower lip to keep another smile tampered.

"I made this for you, Gina," Roland says, reaching his hand into his pants pocket, "I want you to have it for Christmas!"

Regina watches, her heart fluttering in her chest as the little boy pulls out a fist. And the moment he opens it, her heart melts completely and tears sting her eyes once more, overwhelmed with emotion. For there, sitting on his palm is a handmade bracelet: little wooden beads on a string of yarn.

"Do you like it?" Roland asks, his round eyes wide and hopeful.

A lump forms in Regina's throat as she can do nothing but nod, giving him a watery smile but one of true, genuine happiness. "Yes," she whispers, "Yes I do!" She reaches forward and tightly hugs Roland once again, eyes squeezed firmly shut.

And as she opens them again, she spots Tinkerbell peeking out from behind the onlookers, smiling happily.

Yes, Regina may not have Henry with her. And yes, she is saddened that he cannot meet those who now also hold a special place in her heart. Though, she knows deep down that she'll find a way back to him somehow. But for now, as Roland slides the bracelet around her wrist, Regina realizes her second chance, a new chapter in her life with people who will love and cherish her just as Henry does—just as she loves and cherishes them. And that, is the best Christmas gift she could ask for.

* * *

" _Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives, and when he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he? …remember, no man is a failure who has friends."_

~Clarence, _It's a Wonderful Life_


End file.
